Embracing Differences: Learning from Those You Disagree With

Learn how to learn from those you disagree or even offend you. See if you can find the truth in what they believe.

This gem is from the brilliant book “Excellent Advice for Living” by Kevin Kelly. I’ll delve deeper into the book later, but for now, I’m drawing inspiration from its many wise snippets to fuel my thoughts and writings. Plus, inspired by my piece “Being Human (01): Discovering Handwriting”, I’m jotting down most of my notes longhand. I use Goodnotes on my iPad, convert my handwritten notes to text, and publish them as they are (well, I do weed out the utter nonsense). You can find the first handwritten paragraph right here.

It’s not always easy dealing with folks who have a different opinion. Initially, it’s just a pain, slowing things down. They cling to a viewpoint that’s at odds with mine. Progress stalls, which is frustrating. There are bigger fish to fry, at least for me. But not for the person with the differing view. For them, it’s a big deal, and it’s holding things up.

Handling disagreements is a skill. I could dismiss everything as utter rubbish, ignore their opinion, and just carry on. But that’s a short-term, shortsighted fix. It’ll just resurface later, probably at a worse time, and hit twice as hard.

So, we need to get better at dealing with others’ opinions. Not just to clear the air early on, but to channel our inner resistance into learning. It’s not just about fitting their arguments and facts into my worldview – that’s often not feasible on the fly. It’s about accepting and recognising our differences, understanding that everyone’s entitled to their own truths. The first step isn’t to push back but to stay calm. Don’t see it as an attack on your holiness, but as a chance to re-evaluate your beliefs. This benefits us in two ways: it boosts our openness to others and breaks down old, rigid thought patterns.

The keyword here is “learning”. By staying open and not shutting down, I learn to handle disagreements more gracefully. I can calmly say, “I see it differently, but go on.” Just listen and let them speak. Listen without trying to convert, unlike my old approach. And then listen again. And again.